Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Mondays


Donny oh Donny not that you care, 
but I've lost my keys and can't find my spare

I've looked for them high and I've looked for them low
I need to keep looking but I've got to go!

I can't find my ring or my shoes or my purse
Not a great Monday can this get any worse?

There's a stain on my pants and my hair is a mess
But I am so late that I couldn't care less.

The alarm wasn't set and my shower was cold
We ran out of coffee and my bagel was old.

Jake threw a fit and the car wouldn't start
So I took the truck I had to depart!

I hit every red from our house to my job
and my desk was a mess so Jay called me a slob.

I didn't mention the cop who gave me a fine
I plead innocence and said "was that a new sign?" 

My muse fell asleep and I couldn't write
Is it 5 o'clock yet?  I can't wait til tonight!

Dinner promptly at six, or I will be mad!
I need to snug with my boys and watch Breaking Bad.

Strength

Just when you thought, you would bend but not break
The calm part of you started to shake

You tried to fight off anxiety and tears
You swore to yourself not to give into your fears

Overwhelmed and lost, you felt so disjointed
Making you feel, in yourself, terribly disappointed

You wanted so badly to swim and not sink
"I'm crazy" you thought "my sanity on the brink!"

Then you looked up to the sky to call out for aid
And a peace came over you, and your stress started to fade

A whisper to you came out of nowhere
Soft on the breeze an answer to your prayer?

I, too felt alone while the apostles did sleep
They didn't wipe my tears when I started to weep
I asked my Father for this horror to cease
I ask my Father to give me some peace
Just when I thought I would break and not bend
I found myself strong to the end
My strength came from a place down deep in my heart
It never left me it was there from the start
I just needed to remember his unwavering love
Unconditional it was and sent from above
He gave me strength when I thought I'd drown in sorrow
He gave me strength so I could get through to tomorrow.
So when you feel like you are lost an alone
There is a quiet strength within you, you've always known
A strength given from God for you to protect and to hold

A strength that will get you through to a future untold. 

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Shiny Me

You think I am flakey
You think I'm a ditz
You think that it helps when you say
"Make a list."
I wish I could show you 
What goes on in my mind.
Maybe if you got it
You be much more kind.
It's not that I can't pay attention to you
It's that I pay attention to much
To thing within view
And things that I hear
And things that I feel 
Which seem insignificant to you
But make my brain reel.
I want not to react to noises and touch
But the distraction it causes
Is sometimes too much.
How do I explain the stress it does cause
Or the picture my mind creates and then draws
Of the roof or the cat or the pen or the bean
Or the rice and the swing or the fork or the stream?
Try like I might to stay right on task
My mind has other things in which to bask.
In the warmth or the sting or feel of my skirt
Or the burning I feel of the tag in my shirt.
My socks are too tight 
And my hair makes me tickle 
What's for supper tonight?
Cheeseburgers and a pickle?
Please try not to judge 
I have gifts I can use
For our mutual benefit
If you don't refuse.
I am love and I'm light
Full of ideas and trust
Just give me a chance
Roll your eyes if you must
But when you see what I offer
You will amazed
Hyper thoughtful I am,
Not scattered and dazed.
I long to contribute
But often can't find a way
But if you give me some time,
And my thoughts I'll convey
So you'll finally know
There's a person within
Who just needs a chance
So that she'll finally fit in.





Saturday, March 22, 2014

The Abyss

Sometimes I can't tell if it has alienated me or I have alienated it.

As the shroud of secrecy falls softly around me, I can no longer tell if I am protected from it or if it is protecting me.

Reality as I once knew it is long gone and replaced by foresight and the pain of knowledge and inevitability.

I can run, but never hide because the truth will find me. 

Once content in my ignorance, reality pours through me like acid.

I cringe and ache with its prophecy.

Each dose of awareness feels like the fire of a million suns. 

Each moment of knowledge brings me to my knees.

Choices and more choices.

Bleed or heal?
Sit or stand?
Cower or fight?
Take or give?
Loss or life?
Fear or belief?
Adversity or faith?
Alone or together?
Hate or love?
Silence or prayer?
Idleness or action?
Weakness or strength? 

Decisions. Decisions. 

The choices we make everyday - tho simple- challenge is to be the best children of God we can be. And while we are parents and grandparents, we are all still the children of our father and have choices to make and consequences to experience. May you always have the strength to follow the path he has chosen for you.