Saturday, March 22, 2014

The Abyss

Sometimes I can't tell if it has alienated me or I have alienated it.

As the shroud of secrecy falls softly around me, I can no longer tell if I am protected from it or if it is protecting me.

Reality as I once knew it is long gone and replaced by foresight and the pain of knowledge and inevitability.

I can run, but never hide because the truth will find me. 

Once content in my ignorance, reality pours through me like acid.

I cringe and ache with its prophecy.

Each dose of awareness feels like the fire of a million suns. 

Each moment of knowledge brings me to my knees.

Choices and more choices.

Bleed or heal?
Sit or stand?
Cower or fight?
Take or give?
Loss or life?
Fear or belief?
Adversity or faith?
Alone or together?
Hate or love?
Silence or prayer?
Idleness or action?
Weakness or strength? 

Decisions. Decisions. 

The choices we make everyday - tho simple- challenge is to be the best children of God we can be. And while we are parents and grandparents, we are all still the children of our father and have choices to make and consequences to experience. May you always have the strength to follow the path he has chosen for you. 

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Am I Part of the Problem?

I am in a bit of a quandary.  For those of you that are close to me, you know I have a propensity for devouring information on conspiracies (weather staged or potentially probable.)  Well, last night while stalking Facebook and watching my guilty pleasure General Hospital (shut up, I have been a fan since I was 7 and I just. Can't. Stop.) I ran across a post by one of the crazy pages to which I subscribe.  The context was interesting so I paused Robin, Britt and Nicholas to take one hour out of my evening to listen to this (creepy) text to voice Q & A's interview by an "elite bloodline family member." Talk about being mind-fucked. (You can listen here:

So basically, there are conspiracies about my conspiracies designed by the real-elites and executed by the elites-in-name-only to fuck with us so we will sort through all the crap and learn how to become enlightened, perfect our soul and get the hell off this god-forsaken hell-hole of a prison we call Earth. That being said, here is what I learned. And real or not, I feel enlightened.

We need to stop allowing the media, politicians, faux crises, fake news stories, and other propaganda to shape our world. They are all creating a false perception of this world.  Such things are designed to incite panic, cause division, regulate lives, create fear and distract us from our true purpose here on Earth. We are here to perfect our souls and while our human self is distracted by what we are told is the truth by the people who want us to believe it, our true self, (our soul), gets bogged down with what our human self is distracted with.

The sad thing I realized listening to this is that I am part of the propaganda machine.  While I truly thought I have been fighting for America, I have been sucked into exactly what the elites (whether real or imagined, elite-in-name or whatever). I am part of the divisiveness. I am keeping partisanship alive, which is exactly what they want. 

Whoever controls the puppets in Washington and other parts of the world, wants to keep us distracted and divided because if they ever unite, and there is no conflict, we will realize they are unessential to us in all aspects of our lives (both our human self and our true self). Look around you.  Do you see in your backyard the horrors that we are shown on the news?  Parents killing their kids, twelve year olds shooting their teachers, lone gunman causing terror, militant groups murdering thousands of innocent people. Are these events real or are they staged to keep us distracted and using our free will in ways that we never would before witnessing these atrocities.

If nothing else, 9-11 seemed to be the end of America as we knew her. She was re-born in 1984, where entities we cannot possibly fathom started imposing their wills on us -  causing us to make choices that we never would have made;  like getting involved in Occupy Wall Street or Overpasses for Impeachment and other group-think activities so that when the media covers the stories the divisiveness among human-selves stay alive and real and takes on its own living breathing life. This makes us stop focusing on our real self because we are distracted with exterior stimuli that have no real place in our soul.  

Do I have the answers? No. How can I protect my country and fight for good with out being a cog in the wheel of distraction or division?  Is it even possible?  Is it the wrong fight to fight?  I honestly don't know.  What I do know is that I need to shut off all distractions for a bit and truly reflect on what my true purpose here on this Earth.  I need to find out why God sent me here to perfect what isn’t and wasn't perfect.  If I don't get it right, I will have to come back down to this soulless planet and try all over again to get it right. 

We assume that babies cry when they are born because they are leaving the warmth and comfort of their mother's womb. I am just starting to realize that they cry because they left the warmth and love of heaven only to be cast down to a planet where the are meant to face evil and triumph.

My children are not mine.  God gave them to me to take care of until they can take care of themselves. It is my job to prepare them to go out into the world and find out what part of themselves they are here to perfect.  If I don't perfect myself, I can't show my kids how to perfect and they too will be cast back down to a planet where they are faced with evil and attempt to be triumphant.

As I said, mind-fucked. Where to start?    

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Princess, the Roosters and the Bunnies

Contemporary Rooster Country Kitchen InteriorOnce upon a time, there was princess. The princess married and moved into her own castle.  The princesses mom the Queen loved to inspire her princess' castle d├ęcor.  The Queen insisted that her kitchen would be really classy if she chose to theme it with roosters like her own kitchen.  Politely, the princess told her she didn't like roosters and she wanted to choose something else. 

The princess put of theming the kitchen because she couldn't decide between peppers or fruit.  One day when the princess came home she saw a rooster clock had been hung in her kitchen.  The princess knew that the Queen had hung it but realized that since there was not a clock in the kitchen, she thought it might be useful and she could replace it when she chose her own theme.

A week later, the princess came home to find a new rooster napkin holder on her table but since she didn't have a napkin holder, she thought it might be useful and she could replace it when she chose her own theme.

The following week, the princess came home to find that she was now the proud owner of rooster dishes, but knowing that her older dishes were chipped, she thought it might be useful and she could replace them when she chose her own theme.

The next week, the princess came home to find rooster placemats on her table where the rooster napkin holder was, but again, since she didn't have place mats she thought they might be useful and she could replace them when she chose her own theme.

The next few weeks, the princess failed to notice the new rooster salt and pepper shakers that were added. 

Pretty soon, the princess stopped noticing anything in the kitchen at all, because it became part of her life. 

One day, the princess and her prince left on a two week cruise.  When they returned home, her entire kitchen was transformed with new rooster wall paper, rooster curtains, rooster framed prints and new rooster flooring.

The princess was very angry, but found out that the cost to re-do the entire kitchen was far too expensive and so she would just have to live with it. 

A few weeks passed and soon the Queen returned to suggest that the princess decorate her living room with bunnies. The princess put her foot down but when she returned the next day, she found bunny throw pillows on her couch.  After 6 more months, her entire living room was transformed into a bunny themed country style room. The princess hated it but since she failed to stand up to the Queen and the price to re-decorate was too much, the princess was stuck in both bunny and rooster hell.

Guess what America, while you were looking the other way, failing to stand up for your individual rights, over the last several decades, your country is now full of bunnies and roosters. We are now entering an era that our parents fought against decades ago--communism.  You didn't see it coming, but it is now here.  Will you stand up to the King and his evil empire to bring back the country our for which our founding fathers fought or will you just live with the bunnies and roosters because it is the path of least resistance and too much work to change?  You better decide now because it is almost too late.

Wasting Time or Waisting Away? Decisions...Decisions...Just Kidding...No Contest...Feed Me

Yesterday I made the decision to take the weight watchers free online assessment where I found some good news and some bad news.  The bad news is that I am (at least) 20 lbs over (suggested) weight.  The good news is that I am not yet considered (by suggested weight) obese or worse yet "morbidly" obese.

Some of you may ask, "Brenda, dear girl, whatever shall you do with such newfound information?"  to which I shall respond, "Probably nothing."  I am finished saying "I don't have time to workout" because the truth is really that "I don't want to work out." I guess making jokes about my fat ass and eating what I love are far more valuable options to me than looking like a svelte cougar.

Of course I want a hot body. Of course I want to be a MILF. Of course I want to buy clothes in the single digits!  Who the fuck doesn't?  But I guess if I am honest, I am not willing to invest the time and motivation to plummet my BMI into the teens.

I personally think that by admitting this, I am doing the world a service.  To be as amazing, funny, intelligent, and modest as I am is hard enough, but to add a hot body?  It would be so unfair to all the other women out there.  I mean who am I to have it all?  How selfish would that be? I am a giver, so consider my fat ass a gift to the women everywhere with hot bodies and air heads. You are very welcome. 

However, should I make the choice to actually patronize the fitness center that I have paid for two years (and attended for only one month), you better watch out women, cuz trouble is coming your way.  Your husbands, boyfriends and other random guys will not be looking at you, they'll be looking at me because I shall then have it all. So for your sake,  you better pray to the God of Skinny Bitches that I remain a fat, lazy piece of shit who prefers food over a treadmill.  I may just decide that instead of wasting my free time by stalking Facebook peeps, tweeting and reading trashy novels, that I want to waist away by using my time trying to remember where I put my fitness card.

Disclaimer: that hot body in the picture does not belong to this blogger.